Three Steps to Transform Limiting Beliefs

"Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so he is." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

In the previous blog post, we explored the concept of values being like a compass in life, the underlying force behind our decisions, shaping the way we perceive the world, and influencing the choices we make. Values and beliefs are deeply connected: for each of our values we hold several beliefs, both positive and negative. These beliefs, often formed through early childhood experiences and inherited perspectives, can either empower us or limit us.

Unmasking Limiting Beliefs

The term "limiting belief" or “faulty thinking” refers to a negative self-belief that restricts your potential and prevents you from achieving your goals. These beliefs often masquerade as truths, holding you back from reaching your full potential.

Transforming Limiting Beliefs to Empowering Ones

While limiting beliefs can seem like harmful obstacles, they often have a hidden positive intention. This intention is typically a protective mechanism aimed at safeguarding you from perceived threats, such as failure, judgment, or rejection.

For example, the limiting belief "I'm not good enough" might be rooted in a fear of failure or a desire to avoid criticism. Understanding the positive intent behind this belief allows you to acknowledge its presence without letting it control you.

The key to transforming limiting beliefs into empowering ones is to reframe them. This involves identifying and acknowledging the positive intent behind the belief before creating an alternative.

1. Identify the limiting belief: What negative self-belief is holding you back?
2. Uncover the positive intent: What is the underlying reason behind this belief? What is it trying to protect you from?
3. Create an empowering alternative: Formulate a new belief that aligns with your values and supports your goals, while still acknowledging the positive intent of the original belief.

 Example:

1. Limiting belief: I can't speak in public because I'll get nervous and everyone will judge me.
2. Positive intent: Protection from judgement: to avoid feeling embarrassed and rejected.
3. Empowering alternative: I can speak in public even if I feel nervous. My nervousness is a natural response, and I can still deliver a valuable message. People are more interested in what I have to say than judging my every move.

What does that look like in real life?

Client Case Study

One of my clients was struggling with a major career decision. He described feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to make the "right" choice. As we delved deeper, we discovered that beneath this sense of overwhelm were fears of not fulfilling his potential, disappointing himself and others, and of being rushed or pressured into a decision. The positive intent here was protection from failure and maintaining a sense of control to navigate uncertainty.

By acknowledging the positive intent behind these beliefs and reframing them into empowering ones, he was able to gain a sense of clarity and trust in his own judgment. He realised that no decision is permanent and that he has the power to change course if needed. This empowered him to take on the decision with confidence, in a way that felt aligned with his values and goals.

Limiting Beliefs and Their Positive Intentions

Having an awareness of some of the common positive intentions behind limiting beliefs can be helpful in identifying and transforming your own limiting beliefs. Here are some examples:

1. Protection from Judgment:

   - Positive Intention: To avoid criticism or judgment from others.

   - Belief Example: "If I keep a low profile, I won't be judged or criticised." 

2. Safety from Failing:

   - Positive Intention: To prevent failure and the associated emotional pain.

   - Belief Example: "If I don't take risks, I won't fail and won't feel disappointed."

3. Maintaining Financial Security:

   - Positive Intention: To ensure stability and security in financial matters.

   - Belief Example: "I must stick to a stable job even if I'm not happy because it provides financial security."

4. Avoidance of Rejection:

   - Positive Intention: To shield oneself from the pain of rejection or abandonment.

   - Belief Example: "I shouldn't express my true feelings; otherwise, people might reject me."

5. Preservation of Self-Worth:

   - Positive Intention: To protect one's self-esteem and self-worth.

   - Belief Example: "I am not worthy of success, so I won't pursue ambitious goals to avoid disappointment."

6. Maintaining Comfort Zone:

   - Positive Intention: To stay within the familiar and comfortable, avoiding discomfort or uncertainty.

   - Belief Example: "I prefer to stick to what I know, even if it means missing out on new opportunities."

7. Fear of Vulnerability:

   - Positive Intention: To shield oneself from emotional vulnerability.

   - Belief Example: "I shouldn't show vulnerability or ask for help; it makes me appear weak."

8. Avoidance of Disapproval:

   - Positive Intention: To gain approval and acceptance from others.

   - Belief Example: "I must conform to societal expectations to avoid disapproval from my peers."

9. Preserving Relationships:

   - Positive Intention: To maintain harmony in relationships.

   - Belief Example: "I shouldn't assert myself or express my needs, as it may create conflict in my relationships."

10. Coping with Fear of Change:

    - Positive Intention: To navigate uncertainty and maintain a sense of control.

    - Belief Example: "Change is risky; I should stick with what I know to avoid unexpected challenges."

11. Preserving Status Quo:

    - Positive Intention: To avoid disrupting the current state of affairs.

    - Belief Example: "I shouldn't challenge the existing system; it's better to keep things as they are."

12. Preservation of Identity:

    - Positive Intention: To protect one's self-identity and sense of who they are.

    - Belief Example: "I am not capable of success, so I won't try anything beyond my current abilities."

Of course, not every thought is faulty or every belief limiting – many are constructive and helpful. However, if we do not address the faulty thoughts, and the belief system behind those, we find ourselves held back from making positive change. The compound effect is significant because our beliefs influence our thoughts, which influence our emotions, which influence our actions. 

Take the first step today. Identify one limiting belief holding you back. Explore its positive intent, then craft a new, empowering belief that aligns with your goals and values.